Yesterday was the funeral of dear Mrs. Helen (who i already miss).
It was beautiful & sweet, sad but also peaceful. And honestly, it really was good for me or for anyone else she left behind. Talking to so many people who knew & loved her, catching up with people i hadn't seen in awhile! Mrs. Helen was such a God-lover, such a giver, she had such a heart for the poor, the hurting, & the mistreated. She was always reaching out to others. But these last few months were just too much for her, i think. I don't really want to get into theology or anything, but let me just say that i am not one of those who believe that if you commit suicide you go to hell. Never have believed that. The Bible says there is only one unpardonable sin & suicide is not it! & that's as far as i will go with theology. ;) But there is no doubt at all in my mind that Mrs. Helen is now running in heaven, full of the joy & life that cancer & depression took away from her (except even MORE, of course, since she's with Jesus!).
The song i had to sing went well. I had originally been told i was singing first & i was glad. I told hubby - if i can just hold off on any tears until AFTER my song, i will be okay. (Seriously, crying & singing do not at all go well together! & i wanted to make Mrs. Helen proud, you know what i mean?! I mean, this is her favorite song that i was asked to sing). So then we found out i was singing second. & I was like "oh dear. I just cannot cry. i can cry after the song!"). Well, first Mrs. Dory spoke. She has been Mrs. Helen's best friend for 55 years! Since they were in 2nd grade. I met Mrs. Dory through the Funderburks & she is really my role model. Such an awesome woman of God, with a fun & outgoing but very genuine spirit. LOVE HER. She spoke about how the Funderburks were there for her when her son died in 1983 (he was 8) & she said that Mr. Bobby (Mrs. Helen's husband) had written her a poem when her son died. So she read it to us. Very ironic but so sweet. Then, my friend Lizzy sang Amazing Grace. BEAUTIFUL VOICE, that Lizzy!
Amy spoke next. She is my dear friend for 11 years but i've rarely seen her cry. So she spoke about her mom & she read a card she found in Hallmark that said exactly what she wanted to say to her mom. It was a happy birthday card & she said, "I know it may not be mom's earthly birthday, but it is her heavenly birthday". I am telling you that card said exactly what her mom would have wanted to hear from Amy & i know it made her smile! But it made me cry! & so i was like trying not to all out cry & get it under control til after the song! HAHA.
The next thing, Kinley (Amy's 7 year old) went up with her 2 cousins (who are really little, one's maybe a little older than Kinley & one is about 3 or 4). They each sang a song they'd written for Mrs. Helen. I am telling you- it was SUPER cute. And i could just see Mrs. Helen's expression watching that! She would love it! They were adorable! & it kind of made the atmosphere lighthearted. :)
Next, a pastor spoke & he said some very important things that needed to be said. Suicide can be confusing & is definitely heart-wrenching. You never know what goes through someone's heart & mind, where they are & how bad they are hurting. But he said some things that I know meant a lot to the people listening & they definitely meant a lot to me. I started to cry & i looked at Brad & said, "He's going to make me cry right before my song!" I just knew i was next. & sure enough i was. But it was okay. It went well. No tears. Just singing. HAHA. I was really nervous & shaky but i think it was ok. The song is called "LIGHTHOUSE". An OLD country gospel song! SO OLD that i found an ELVIS version! HAHA! Not my favorite style, but it was Mrs. Helen's favorite. :)
We honestly had a good time even though it was emotionally exhausting. I just love that family & am thankful that i know them. I am thankful that i knew Mrs. Helen. She has had many conversations with me & i've just loved her so much. She's a total sweetheart. She always talked about God with me & about her hopes for her daughter & granddaughter. She sometimes jokingly (but lovingly) called me her "other daughter".
Love you, Mrs. Helen. Will miss you.
I got all teary about the whole birthday thing.ReplyDelete
That was beautiful ... I'm so glad everything went so well. She sounds like a wonderful person.ReplyDelete
that was beautiful!! <3ReplyDelete