I recently wrote a blog titled "Just Ask" where i told you to Ask Me Anything.
Amanda asked, "In previous blogs you've talked about wanting children. My question is, what lessons in life have you learned that you will pass on to your children in hopes they will learn from your experiences?"
Ok. Four things immediately come to mind. I am sure there are MANY more. I've thought of so many things over the years, but now i'm being put on the spot! But here are four...
3. HEALTH. HEALTH! HEALTH!!!
Ok. So. I'm overweight. I recently began working hard to change this, and so far have lost 7.5 pounds. Not a lot, but a start. (You can read more about my weight loss journey in my other blog). Now, rest assured... this won't be something i shove down their throat. I will not be psycho & end up with kids with horrible self images & eating disorders. I just mean that I will be their example. You may laugh now, but i am working on this. I have not had a coke since 2008 & i have not had fast food in over a month. I am eating more veggies, more fruits, more grilled meats, less carbs, less sugar, less JUNK. By the time i have children i expect to be fit & i expect to have developed some good habits. MOST of this will be leading by example. Even though i am making positive changes, i know that i have missed out on some things because of my weight. There have been a lot tears & frustration & anger over my weight. And even though i have a handle on it now, it will be a year or two before i reach my goal weight! I do not want my children to have to go through life like this! It's much better to go through it fit & healthy, living life as God intended. Another part of this is how you talk to your kids. Telling a tween that she needs to lose her baby fat, or that she is chubby, or that she is big-boned, or that she will never meet a guy if she doesn't get skinny --> these things do NOTHING to make a girl want to lose weight. Ok, I'm wrong. They do make her WANT to lose weight. But instead of motivating her to do something about it, these comments will plunge her into the depths of self-hate & self-destruction & she will turn to food. i know from experience. My kids will hear nothing negative about the way they look. I want them to have positive self-images. So much is lost when you hate yourself. And that makes life extra hard for a teenager (being a teen is already hard enough!).
I love God. I want my kids to have a relationship with God. However, i do NOT want my children to adopt certain attitudes from people in the church. I have to be careful here, because i do not want to get into a discussion of my beliefs. That's just not the point of this blog. But i DO think that there is a LOT of judgement in churches today. Even in those churches that people would call LOVING or FREE. I believe there is a little of this in EVERY church, at least to some degree. And i do not want my child to adopt this kind of attitude. Part of this means that i want my child to accept EVERYONE. This does not mean that they agree with them. This does not mean that we tell them that they are right in how they live. It just means that we treat them with kindness, respect & love. NO MATTER WHAT. No matter how they look or how they behave. The person in question may be into all kinds of sinful behavior. I do not care. I do not believe that ridiculing or shunning people is helpful. Assumptions is another type of judgement that is often found in the church that i do not like. This is hard to explain, but have you ever missed church a few times & people assumed that meant you weren't right with God? That you were somehow backsliding? Or have you ever been sick & people thought maybe there was sin in your life? Or have you been down on your luck financially & people assumed it was because you weren't tithing?! These kinds of thoughts are ridiculous & have nothing to do with Jesus & the way He treated people. And as much as i love people in the church...I want my kids to be a little less like that in this regard!
That's all i've got for now! Thanks, Amanda! Everyone else... please go here to Ask Me Anything!