Have you ever read Sheila's blog, "To Love Honor and Vaccuum"? I just recently began reading her blog & I love it! It's great! On Wednesdays, Sheila has a segment called "Wifey Wednesdays". Today, she talked about Appreciation. She talked about how, yes, sometimes our hubbies do things we don't like. Sometimes they do things that get on our nerves. Sometimes they come home from work & do nothing but sit in front of the TV. And that sometimes we get resentful about this (& become the nagging wife) because we're the ones cooking, cleaning, washing their clothes, fixing them lunch, bathing the kids, etc. But then she said that nagging, fussing, & criticizing will NOT help things!
"But people don't thrive on condemnation; they thrive on appreciation. I honestly don't know what we think: do we figure that if we criticize enough, or withhold affection, or complain, that they'll magically change? Or are we trying to punish them for not being what we want them to be? If we do, we simply push them away, and we end up punishing ourselves."
I so agree with this. I remember, years ago, noticing how so many of my friends talked really mean to their husbands. I did not get this at all. I thought, "aren't you supposed to love & cherish your husband? Isn't he supposed to be your best friend?" It really bothered me. After some time, I became friends with a lady who was married with some kids & she & her husband had SUCH a great relationship. They talked to each other about everything. And they really got along. Just like best friends. And i really admired that, because lately, before that, it seemed like all the couples i knew did nothing but fight. I determined that i would NOT be the nagging wife. (& i'm not. & i pray that i never ever become one!)
Anyway, Sheila's assignment for Wifey Wednesday is, "What do you Appreciate about your husband?" And, wow...well, i don't know where to start!
I love my husband. Yes, we're still newlyweds (next month is our 1 year!), but if your first year is supposed to be the hardest, then WOW, what smooth sailing we have in store! HAHA. Oh, yes, i know there are ups & downs in marriages, but we are such a team, such best friends, so on the same page, that i pray we continue in this path.
One thing i appreciate about Brad is that he is so kind & thoughtful. He always listens to me. Even when i'm whining (which, honestly, can be a lot. I do a lot of whining. Luckily, he (usually) thinks it's cute! HAHA!). Even when i'm sad. Even when i'm complaining about work for the 349030th time! He just genuinely loves me & listens to me. He understands & he never tries to "fix" things, something men are known for! He always just listens, usually with his arms wrapped around me or while rubbing my back or playing with my hair. :) He is a total sweetheart.
Another thing he does is wait on me. Not only am a a whiner, but i can also be lazy! Ok, i'm not REALLY...but you know how you'll sit down & forget something you needed? I am constantly like, "Baby, i forgot _______! Could you grab it for me?!" & he always will. No complaints or frowns or stomps. He is always, "SURE!" & does it right away. He always asks if i want anything & then he will get it for me. And he ALWAYS takes the dog out - MY dog - (well, his stepdog!) - even if he doesn't feel like it. I don't even ask. He just does it.
He also talks to me & includes me in everything. If he's considering something about our finances or about the house or anything, he talks to me to see what i think. He truly values my opinion & shares any thoughts with me if they concern me (or if he think it might).
There's so much more that i could include about hubby, but this blog would be too long! Just quickly- He makes me laugh (all the time), he lets me read to him (even if it's chic lit, just because i feel like it), he watches movies with me (even when he's not the biggest movie buff), he goes to plays with me (even when that's time he could be in his studio playing music), & he encourages me in my weightloss efforts (while still making me feel beautiful)!
He's just such a winner, really. :) & i am so thankful.
I'm glad that you are determined to go against the grain of regular wifehood - be in love and be willing to look beyond. I too, have my prince charming and even when aggravating, I would not trade him. He really is my best friend!ReplyDelete
I love it! And I had to laugh when you talked about how you will forget something and ask Brad to get it and he will. I do the SAME THING and Mike is always so nice about getting me whatever I need. :) Yay for wives with winner husbands!!!ReplyDelete