Saturday, November 28, 2009

Our Love Story - Part 4

FINALLY!

This has really taken forever to tell you the entire story, details & all!

If you haven't been following, you should probably go read the first & second & third parts of this crazy little love story! =)

As i was saying before, I'd written this thing - whatever it was - off. It wasn't going to work. We were two totally different people heading in two opposite directions. I thought he'd turned out to be a great guy & i thought it wasn't fair that all this had happened for no reason at all. Nothing was going to come of it. I really had thought that maybe he was the one after all. Why else would all this be taking place? But i realized it was nothing more than an ex-boyfriend who was still single & wondering whatever happened to his first love. That's it. End of story. Back to real life - & hopefully ONE DAY - i'd meet the person right for me.

I don't remember when that last date was, but i think it was about two or three weeks before i heard from Brad again. And that was fine. I didn't WANT to hear from him. I was getting back to my life & trying to forget that all that ever happened. One day, I was surprised to see an email in my inbox from him. I was even more surprised by what i read. Brad let me know in that email what he thought, things about me that were not true. I was indignant. I was upset. I read it to my roommate & she was upset too. It was mostly, "What does he mean by this?!" & "What the heck is that supposed to mean?" I had to write him back to set him straight. There were several things to set him straight on, but just to give you an example, he thought that by pursuing acting, i was probably sacrificing a lot of relationships. But my relationships were fine, thankyouverymuch. He thought some other things & i wrote him back to let him know the truth about it all. I told him in a very nice way & pretty soon I had another email from him.

The next email from him did it for me. I knew he was the one after that email. I know that is crazy to say, but i did. I didn't tell him that yet. But in one email he answered basically every question i had. He cleared up a LOT of misunderstandings. At the end of his email he said,

"I definitely never dreamed I would actually try to get in touch with you again, but I owed it to you to tell you the truth about why I walked away ten years ago. We are truly as different as night and day, but that's good, and although it doesn't mean we are not compatible, I think it's safe to say that the chapter is closed. I truly hope you continue to find happiness in all that you do and in all your relationships, and I truly hope that your prince finds you, as much as I hope that I find my princess. If I am him and you are her, that's God's business. In the meantime, we must be getting along our way."

Um, WHAT?! "Safe to say this chapter is closed"?! "Getting along our way"?!? I think not!! I mean, you seriously just answered every single one of my questions from 11 years ago! I get it now! I understand now! Oh, thank you GOD, it was all just a big huge horrible misunderstanding! But we can't just close this chapter now?!?!

That's pretty much where my thinking was after that email. I emailed him back in a hurry & i started it off by saying, "I hope that you are not really closing the chapter...just when things are getting good!" and i proceeded to clear up some things that he had misunderstood from 11 years back! You see, in his email to me, not only did he clear up some things for me, but he let me know things that bothered him from all those years ago. And i'm not talking petty silly things. I'm talking serious things. Things that he couldn't let go of. And i realized that they were all really honestly & truly - misunderstandings. I couldn't believe it.

We didn't know how to communicate back then. That was now very obvious. But here we were, a decade later, writing back & forth about EVERYTHING from our relationship before. There were 15 emails total & i cannot tell you what they did for us. We could have seen each other in the midst of these writings, but for some reason we both felt like we shouldn't see each other. We recognized that God was doing a work through these writings. We are both writers & we are both better at getting words out on paper. God knew that we needed to resolve everything before getting back together. Not that getting back together was even a definite at that point. But it was beginning to look like it more & more. We continued to write & i think we knew that God would show us when it was time to meet again in person.

I do not think i am even ALMOST getting across to you the importance & awesomeness of these emails! With every one that i read, i understood a little more. I liked him a little more. I "got him" a little more. Every paragraph i read felt like healing oil. I don't even know how to explain it. He felt the same way. I remember my roommate coming home from a date one night (with HER future husband!) & poking her head in my room to see how i was doing & i said, "Aimie. I really like him. I mean, i REALLY like him." & she was like "really?" & i said, "like, this is it. He's the one." I don't even know if she believed me! She was there through my insistance that he was absolutely NOT the one.

But he was. He definitely was. There was no doubt about it any longer. My heart was bursting over emails, for crying out loud. But those emails were exactly what we needed. We needed to be able to explain everything about all those years ago & to honestly tell what hurt us, what broke us, what made us want to end the relationship. We were honest in these emails. We were able to say, "I couldn't believe it when you said this". We went over every misunderstanding. And trust me, there were plenty! By the end of those emails i had no doubt in my mind. I was so thankful & rejoicing & falling in love (without even seeing him again!).

Finally, I got this email from Brad (feel special that i'm sharing this with you! They've all been kept private till now, but Brad says it's okay to share this part!)...

"I have a REALLY good feeling we have lots more Valentine's Days in store! I've been hesitating out of sheer disbelief at this! It's like seeing a stranger far off and then realizing it's someone you know.....like a broken toy put back together.....an old wine pulled out of the cellar.....a bright star in the sky that turns out to be part of a constellation you hadn't noticed before..... (sorry, you know I have to make analogies). I hope I'm not saying this too soon, but I'll tell you straight up that I think it is worth doing what it takes to make this work, and I am wanting it to work more and more every day. My hours of thinking of you are turning into hours of longing for you. What else could God be trying to show us? I mean, seriously, unless He just drops a ton of bricks on us and says "NO", then what else could it be? You want to know what I think? I think He already HAS dropped a ton of bricks on us --- a ton of "YES" bricks! If you feel different, then let me know and it won't happen, but I say let's go for it. Don't get me wrong, I am not so foolish as to think it will be easy. Any relationship worth having is going to be difficult. It's the people that don't realize that that bail out at the first rough spot in the road. It may feel like we're dying at times, but oh, what a sweet death it will be. Love is a choice, an act of the will, and I choose YOU.....if you are willing to be chosen. Nothing brings more joy to my heart than the thought of spending the rest of my life with you. We both have what it takes to make it work. I mean, of course we still have to go through the process of getting back into each other's lives and all, but that will come easy.....definitely easier than it did "back then". We have an understanding and a respect for each other that we didn't have before, and that's all that was missing. Now all that's left is to see the world together. I know we have our dreams and "rather this's" and "rather thats", but that will all fade away when we look into each other's eyes. I DON'T mean that we'll have to give up our dreams. What I mean is that our love for each other will be what drives us to help each other BOTH have the dreams of our hearts. And God will provide a way for those dreams to come true in a way that we totally didn't expect (just like this little unexpected saga between us is unfolding right now!).
REASONS TO MAKE THIS WORK:
We've known each other since we were babies,
Our families know and love each other,
Our families both want this to happen,
We both have a different, but compatible combination of personalities,
We both would never run out of delightful things to talk about with each other,
We both want to share more with each other than most typical couples do,
We've already both been head over heels for each other before,
We have found the missing element of our "chemistry",
We are strongly attracted to each other,
We both want to help people out of their troubles and into God's presence,
We both have troubles to help each other through,
We're both artists in different, but connected fields,
We've both already shared things with each other that I don't want to share with anyone else,
We both see eye to eye on so many things (go figure! ha! I never thought I would say that!),
We both are the types of people that need people like us,
We both need someone to help us reach our dreams,
We are willing to make ourselves vulnerable to each other,
We can trust each other,
There is a lifetime of adventures before us.....
Those are just a few, of course. And the only reason I can think of NOT to make it work is "fear", and that reason sucks. It's not even worth paying attention to! So, anyway, I'm saying lets do this. If you agree then say so, and we can be face to face within the next week or so. I'm ready if you are.

This was written to me late on Valentine's Day, 2008. Our first official date was February 16th. I was a little nervous, felt a bit awkward, but this date was completely different than those 3 back in December. We knew so much now, we had uncovered so much & said so many things that needed to be said! We now understand & respected each other! We were actually on the same page! As soon as we were face to face again, the chemistry was there. It just was. I thought it was missing on those dates in December, but here it was full force!

Things moved pretty quickly after that! I had always wanted a "whirlwind romance" because it sounded so romantic...& that is exactly what i got. Only it was better, because we have known each other our whole lives & we had so much history. There were SO MANY alone years. But once we were back together, it as a whirlwind!

I remember the evening of the 16th - after going to lunch at Carraba's, we hung out at my house & just talked. Then we decided to go for a walk. We walked the neighborhood next to the condo i lived in. We walked that neighborhood once & i was too nervous to grab his hand & he would't grab mine either! Ahhh! I hated it! I hated being that nervous with someone i KNEW i was going to marry, someone i was falling hopelessly & desperately in love with! As soon as we started to walk that neighborhood a SECOND time, Brad grabbed my hand. I couldn't stop smiling.

I am not sure when we had our first kiss (of this decade)! Within a week or two after we got back together. Do you know that neither of us had kissed ANYONE in all those 11 years?!? I know that may sound pitiful & sad, but we are the kind that don't kiss someone unless it's someone you are serious about. And we just couldn't ever get serious with anyone after our breakup! So we went all those years with no kisses (pecks on the cheek from family doesn't count!). All those years without kissing was AWFUL! (Who doesn't love to make out?! Seriously?! Haha.) But it was well worth the wait! We were also both virgins on our wedding night. I know that is unheard of nowadays, especially when you are in your early thirties! And there were times when i got really impatient & didn't want to wait any longer! But we did & i am very thankful that we did. =)

SO- it is true what they say: when you know, you know. And we weren't going to waste any time with a long dating relationship!! No sense in that!

We were engaged on March 15, 2008.
We were married November 14, 2008.
& we are living very happily ever after. =)


I hope you enjoyed reading our story!


12 comments:

One Cluttered Brain said...

GReat story! Finally. so you and he are writers huh? What an incredible thing to hold on to when U guys have kids. To show your kids how you guys felt about each other..Just amazing....

Melissa said...

Thanks! & i just meant we love to write, not that we're actually always writing or are published or anything. He writes music, though! =)

LAURA said...

Aww. I love how he listed to the reasons to make it work. I really enjoyed reading that email he wrote you because I could "hear" his excitement and certainty about having you in his life.

And you ARE right... who doesn't like to make out haha!!

Jenna said...

I just finally read your story and it is so sweet! It's amazing what God does in your life! Especially when you get to look back and see it! You're a good writer and so is your husband!

Briana Renee said...

So I ADORE your love story... so sweet, so inspiring :) I love that we live such completely different lives, but that the desire to be truly loved exists in all of us! Trust me, I get it :)

Pam said...

Wow. That is an amazing story. How sweet.

I found you from Mama M's linky party. Do you mind if I stay a while? hehe

Nicole @ Let Them Eat Lettuce said...

Melissa-

I just read this story. WOW. WOW. I think we have more in common than we thought. I think this may have ended up being mine and Kellen's story had we not just stayed together and gotten married. We talked several times about "separating" and if it was meant to be God would get us back together. We were each other's first relationship and first kiss! So cool to have so much in common. I feel like first loves are so significant. There are so many stories I've heard about people who really believe their first love was their best. Luckily we both ended up with ours!

Melissa said...

Nicole - YAY! I am so glad you read it! & crazy that we have so much in common! I love that! :)

I'm still amazed at all God did back then... i just reread this part 4 after getting your comment - for whatever reason - & it always brings me back to that time & how just GOD it was, ya know? Not that i forget... i love him everyday & we still have a blast together. It just sometimes hits me! :)

SarahRachel said...

WOW!!!!!! I loved, loved, loved your story!!! You are a fantastic writer and that should be a book. I got chills several times! God is so good. =)

Christina said...

Your love story sounds like a fairy tale movie. I loved your story and am so happy you and your hubby ended up together not only that but how sweet it is that you were each others first everything. Thanks for sharing you story

janaetime said...

Wow! This is an incredibly touching real-life story! I know I don't even know you, but I'm so happy that you two found your way back to one another. :)

Sheri said...

Oh I love love love your love story. I have ours on my blog, but it's MUCH longer (HA!) on paper, much shorter on a calendar (whirlwhind and all that).

Following you now!