Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Frustration

I am such a grouch tonight. I cannot turn my frown upside down. I cooked dinner and it was okay. I've tried this dish before twice in my life (chicken parmisian) & both times i couldn't get that dang chicken done (in a skillet)! These pieces were huge & the cookbook will say it'll take 5 minutes on each side, but it really takes like 20. AND IS STILL PINK!

HUMPH.

Finally they were done. Okay, MINE was done. I told Brad if it's not done to just put it in the oven & not even tell me about it. He had to put it back in the oven, but he forgot about the not telling me about it. ;) He said it was delicious. Just needed a little more cooking time. Mine was good, though. I served it with pasta & that mixed up with the tomatoes & such - mmmmm. I'll blog the recipe later. =)

For those married women out there, i have a question. Are you ever just fine & dandy & then one day you take notice of the messy unorganized house & suddenly are in the worst mood EVER? That is why i'm so grumpy tonight. And it seems to happen to me every once in awhile. I don't mean my house gets messy & disorganized every once in awhile; just that the realization will hit me hugely sometimes more than other times & i get extremely grumpy - and, sort of depressed. Like it feels too overwhelming or something. It feels like I'll never be able to have a clean beautiful ORGANIZED house.

I guess the reason i said married women & didn't include everyone is because I feel like this has only been a problem since i got married. I went thru a lot of roomies in my twenties & most of them were pretty neat, or organized. Even the ones that weren't, they tried to keep the mess in their bedroom. But in this house i am having the HARDEST time. And it's not just that i am a OCD neat freak who wants everything spotless. I'm not - i like it lived in. BUT i do love organization & i do LOVE a nice clean home. And it actually makes me feel like crap when it can't be that way. I just do not like to LIVE in that environment.

But right now we have two problems. One is that we do not have enough SPACE. & the other is that we have too much STUFF.

And it's making me crazy. I am going to lose my little mind.

I want to get rid of SO MUCH STUFF that we do not use or need. But hubby would freak out just a bit! I want to stay on top of the cleaning & get this place organized. But how - when you can't get rid of the junk? What are you supposed to do when there is no space?
Normally i'd get rid of it - TODAY - but hubby likes to keep it STUFF. I also would love those UGLY cords to the TV & dvd player & speakers to be hidden! And i'd love wood floors (this is not going to happen so i should just get used to the green carpet).

Thing is, i could be fine w/ the ugly carpet if everything else could go where it belongs & stay there!

Sometimes something is said that triggers it or sometimes i just, after having lived for awhile in blinders, suddenly NOTICE the horrible living room & want to CRY.

And right now, it seems really overwhelming. Like WHEN can i do this?

And i like to clean. I used to be a maid! HAHA. And people have known me before for my organization abilities. But it's not working here.

SIGH.

If i could just have a clean organized living room & kitchen, that'd be good enough for me! (The bathrooms & bedrooms are organized & pretty much stay that way. I just want the living areas to be organized.)

I don't think this will be as much of a problem when we finally get a house, because houses have attics. =) So wonderful thing is, when we have a house, a lot of boxes will go STRAIGHT to the attic.

But it could be years before we have a house.

Ok. Vent Over. Gonna watch some American Idol. Maybe then i'll forget about this & go back to lala land. =)

11 comments:

  1. Have you mentioned to your husband about your wish to eliminate some stuff? We've been decluttering pretty regularly for some time now, and it seems the more I get rid of, the more he gets rid of, and vice versa. Would he rather have "stuff" or a happy wife? I'm not trying to dis on your husband ... just trying to help.

    I have been a FlyLady follower (www.flylady.net) for a couple years now. Her motto is "you can't organize clutter - you can only eliminate it" - or something close to that. Stuffing it into a box and shoving it up in the attic isn't a solution. I know. I've been there, done that. We recently cleaned out SEVERAL (like a lot!) plastic tubs of stuff we thought we needed to keep. Only to find that we never missed that stuff.

    In our house, it is more the kids that are the problem when it comes to keeping stuff. EVERYTHING is valuable to them. And lately none of them can seem to find the garbage can. :) I find snack wrappers and empty cups and missing socks ... under the couch. How did they get there? Hmmm. I wonder. I'm still working on them. :)

    Anyway, having said all that, maybe a little compromise is in order? He can keep SOME stuff as long as he lets you buy some pretty containers to store it in so you don't have to see it all the time. :) The rest is outta here!

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  2. Umm, yeah. You're preaching to the choir over here. We had friends in town this weekend so I didn't do any cleaning or laundry over the weekend which means that the laundry basket is piled high, I feel like I have nothing to wear and because I feel like I have nothing to wear I end up trying five different things on and not putting anything away. Then Bruce has been sick so he's been spending a lot of time on the couch and not really wanting me to cook anything more than soup. And yesterday I was so tired and I just ordered pizza and had it delivered. Today I had to preside over Ash Wednesday, came home to write a paper and our apartment is a MESS. But I'm currently in bed - the mess will be there tomorrow after a good night's sleep.

    I think it does have a lot to do with being married. I know that Bruce and I have different levels of clean an different breaking points. My mom told me that of it's important to me to keep things clean I just need to do it but I think there is more to it. When I ask Bruce nicely and he sees how important it is and we try to find a routine we are both so much happier.

    Hang in there - we're all just doing our best to figure it all out!!

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  3. Thanks, y'all!

    Kimberly - yeah, i totally agree with fly lady! But it's compromise, so if boxes had to go in the attic at a new house, i'd be okay with that! I just want it out of my sight! And yes, talked to hubby a thousand times. He works at it. He tries. It's just too overwhelming & he won't let me help!!

    But i decided this weekend i'm going to get some of my own cleaning done & then i'm going to start working on at least SOME SORT of organization for us...

    Thanks for the advice!

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  4. I get the same way! I can look at a messy house all day, but it's like a switch that goes off when I absolutely cannot take it anymore!!! i used to be severely obssessive compulsive, but am much better now, but it still overwhelms me at times. My advice is to tackle one project at a time, do it right, then move on to another. Like one room at a time :)
    And if it makes you feel any better, I burnt my entire supper! I was letting my roast and gravy simmer and I put it on the burner that gets TOO hot(simmer actually means rolling boil!!) And all my yummy gravy stuck, burned, and the slices of roast followed :( Talk about be grouchy! That is one meal I have NEVER screwed up....until last night!

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  5. I'm not married, but I TOTALLY get that way! Frustrates me to no end!

    ESPECIALLY when I do a deep clean and I notice like, 3 days later, there is stuff everywhere again! Urggg! I feel ya sister. :)

    Have a wonderful day!

    PS - LOVE your blog. :)

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  6. Oh my dear, I get like this a LOT, especially when I come home to a messy house and a husband that is on the computer or doing something else. It has been an issue in our marriage, that is for sure. I have to rememeber though that I need to not get mad at Brett when he isn't in the mood to clean because sometimes I am not in the mood too. De-cluttering is KEY! Have a garage sale. As the years go on in our marriage, I find myself getting rid of more and more and SIMPLIFYING. It is therapeutic!! :)

    P.S. Read your 4 part love story last night. TOO STINKIN' CUTE!!! You guys sound great, I am sure if we knew each other in real life, we would hang out as couples. We have a lot in common(ish)!! :)

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  7. Oh wow! I can so much relate to this post!!! I'm not as naturally clean and tidy as you are, BUT ... it was easier when I was by myself! My place has been driving me nuts, too!

    It sounds like you will HAVE to declutter, majorly. And if you really, really can't part with some stuff, you could try a storage facility, to get out of the house. We were thinking about doing that.

    But yeah, I can relate.

    We are actually buying a house!!! One of the reasons I have not been blogging lately is that there have so many major changes lately, and I've just been trying to process everything. But right now, still not packed and moving soon. Should be doing it now. Keep believing that the LORD sees your frustrations! You never know what he will bring. We thought we not be able to buy a house for at least another year and a half, but in the last month, we have bought a house, due to some very unforeseen circumtances. I am not trying to be cliche here, but keep praying and lifting up your concerns to the LORD!

    Take care ... and I totally understand!

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  8. Oh, wow, after I read your comment on my respect post I came over to read this. We are SO on the same page right now! I totally get what you're saying. I'm being absolutely serious about this - tell your husband that you feel disrespected when it's not clean and see if he makes more of an effort. Something about the word "respect" .. men just GET that. They understand how important it is.

    Good luck with everything. I know you'll get it all figured out. I'm in the process of trying to de-clutter, too. Well, I'm always in that process! I used to be a giant pack rat, but not anymore. My husband seems to be, though. He's slowly getting better. He hates to just throw stuff away, so it helps that we have Goodwill donation centers all over the place down here.

    I've never made chicken parmesan on the stovetop before! Very interesting, I've always baked it. Have you tried using a meat hammer pounder thingie (don't actually know what it's called) or a can to pound down the chicken? If it's thinner it should cook faster. Sometimes I make "mini" chicken parmesan pieces, too. Just a thought.

    Good job being a homemaker. Even if he doesn't say it or show it by keeping the living area clean, I know your husband appreciates it. There's just something about having a well-cared-for home, even if it is a little sloppy! :)

    - Kara

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  9. I feel the same exact way! I want to purge almost every room and get rid of the stuff we don't need or use. I HATE clutter. I am so OCD it is crazy. My husband knows to stay out of my way when I start cleaning. I am known to throw things out! I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me to throw him out!

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  10. I get this way too! I've been married 11 1/2 years and have always liked aclean, but lived-in house. I've gotten a little worse since our son was born 22 months ago. I don't have the time to clean like I used to. Even being a SAHM, he keeps me busy so the cleaning is limited to what HAS to be done. I haven't DEEP cleaned this house since he was born and it's bugging me. I told my hubby today that I want a WHOLE day where he takes our son out and I have the entire day to myself to get this house in order. It's a small home so we don't have a lot of room and sometimes I feel the toys are taking over!! I always liked to clean, even before children. I had all the time in the world to clean, but chose to do other things usually. Now, what I would give for time to be able to clean without a toddler pulling on me wanting to play trains...again :-) Anyway, I totally get where you're coming from and you're not alone.
    The beginning of this week I about lost it. The bathrooms were filthy, the carpet was full of dog & cat fur, the kitchen floor was beyond dirty, and the laundry baskets were overflowing. I managed to get it all done with a little help from hubby too. He's the best!

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