Monday, July 12, 2010

Discouraged.

I'm kind of down today. Nothing is going right...nothing!

On Tuesday, Brad's grandmother died.
On Wednesday, i busted two tires on my way to a wedding rehearsal.
On Friday, we attended Brad's grandmother's funeral. It was exhausting but we were surrounded by family & that was good. Brad & his dad went to look at my car but couldn't get the tires replaced or my blazer home. Long story.
On Saturday, Brad & his dad went to work on my car. They got it home but i still am without new tires. We also discovered something is wrong with the a/c.
On Sunday, we noticed the dryer isn't drying.

Today I thought things would be better, but they are a bit stressful at work. "A bit" doesn't really do it justice. It's quite overwhelming. And yes, i do like my job wayyyy more than i did when i was receptionist - but it still very stressful.

I also am really feeling discouraged with my weightloss journey. I know i mainly write about it on my weightloss blog, Try Try Again, but i just want to vent here for a second. This morning i saw a friend's blog that lost 10.9 pounds this past week. She has weigh-ins like that all the time & she isn't working out any more than i am. She is also eating a very healthy amount of calories. I am usually extrememly happy for her, but this time i just wasn't. I love her a lot & have been so proud of her so far in her journey. But today i was jealous. Today she lost 10.9 pounds & that got her to 100.9 pounds lost in SEVEN MONTHS.

I do not understand why this has to be the biggest struggle ever for me. I mean, seriously - if you saw me in person you would tell me to put down the donuts. But i don't eat donuts. I will have a cookie if one is available - but only one & it is well thought out. I am loading up on fruits & veggies, lean proteins & whole grains. I rarely have junk. I've quit fast food, though i have a few times given in to that temptation. I have quit soft drinks, except for the occasional diet sprite. I drink water like you wouldn't believe. For the past month, i have consistently worked out - 4 days a week - 30 minutes each time - for 4 weeks solid. I peeked at the scale & have lost NOTHING in the last month. NADA. ZILCH.

And although i have lost 20 pounds, it took me an entire YEAR to do it & i haven't lost anything else in over a month now. Why is this so freaking difficult??? I hate to be a whiner, but let me just say...

IT IS NOT FAIR!

Of course i will keep it up, because i really want to lose this fat... but i'm just saying. It sucks. I will do better this next month than i am doing now... I will sign up for the new membership class at the YMCA & that includes some personal training. But this week i am sharing a car with Brad because mine is not fixed yet. And so there is no way for me to work out getting to the gym with us carpooling. I will have to work out at home, but i am just saying - that is a real struggle for me.

Please do not comment that it is probably just muscle & muscle weighs more than fat. I swear, if i had a nickel for everytime i've heard that, i would be rich! I know that is true, but i haven't even begun strength training yet & surely i would have still lost SOMETHING in this month!!

So let's just say that i am stressed out at work, stressed out about finances (since everything is breaking) & stressed out about my weight. I do not want to struggle. I want to enjoy life.

There are good things going on -

1- I love my life with Brad. He is truly wonderful & makes everyday brighter.
2- I went to a beautiful wedding Saturday.
3- I went to a fun bachelorette party last night & loved the girl time.
4- Carpooling with Brad = more time with him. :)
5- I'm done with The Sound of Music & can now focus on my health journey more.
6- If i was still single, i would have had to call Dad when my tires busted...& he would not have been happy! At least my hubby is sweet about it. :)
7- Saturday i get to see a good friend marry her love!
8- Did i mention i love my love life & that i am HOME in the evenings this week?!

Ok, so life isn't all bad...

5 comments:

  1. Hey girl,
    Know that I am praying for you as you journey through this "rut". Don't give up and keep doing what you are doing! Know that I am praying for you! Love ya girl!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Im sorry last week was rough for you. And I'm sorry about the lack of weight loss lately. You seem to be doing everything right. Have you had your thyroid checked? That could be a reason why you haven't lost any weight this month.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm with Mrs. Lopez. While reading it I got really bummed for you because you ARE working hard. And you SHOULD be losing weight. So my guess is that something else is up. Talk to a doctor or someone who might have a clue as to what it could be. You are doing so much right. Ugh. I'm frustrated for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh friend, I am sorry. :( You are entitled to whine and there's no place better then your blog. I think getting a check up would be wise just to make sure that hormonally everything is good....if it is, just keep on keeping on and eventually your body will catch on. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Girl, I feel ya, I seem to be having one of those years! LOL!!! Everything that can go wrong in the last 2 years has!
    I'll tell you like I tell Jen - it could be worse, you could be stuck in the a**-end of Europe, with no family or friends (at least non that understand you when you speak).
    It could literally cost you and arm and leg just to live.

    It does get better, and as you saw, there is good to come out of the bad (Romans 8:28)

    ReplyDelete

Comments are my favorite.