Not so long ago, a friend was complaining to me about how unlucky in love she was. How she couldn't find the man of her dreams. She'd heard some silly quote that you either find a great career or you find love, but not both. Obviously, i disagree with this. I know people who have been lucky enough to find BOTH. But i keep thinking about it because you know what? It's true for me too, except the other way around. I think i have been VERY lucky in love. But career? Not so much.
Last week, i wasn't really unhappy with my job. It comes in waves. Today? I came home in tears. But last week, everything was just fine. However, i started thinking about being an Ultrasound Tech last week. I just think it would be a cool job. I started looking into it. Dead ends, everywhere i look. Unless i want to move, which i am not at all opposed to, but i can assure you that my husband wouldn't go for it!
Today i had a really bad day at work. I have those often enough. But sometimes they are REALLY bad. Some days i just want to find something to do that i LIKE! And really, is that too much to ask?
Apparently, it is.
I didn't finish college. I regret that, i assure you. My major was education. I wanted to teach english. Unfortunatley, even to teach english, you must pass basic math & science classes. I couldn't do it. I tried. I couldn't pass tests to save my life.
I started to work. No job has been something i'd want to make a career out of, except working with kids but those jobs do not pay very well (unless you have a degree...& i know teachers think they don't make much, but trust me! Compared to my salary, it is a FORTUNE!). Finally, sometime last year, i decided to look into being a teacher more. I looked into going back to LSU. I looked at my transcripts. Despite the fact that i have OODLES of hours, it would STILL take me at least 2 years to finish, because none of my hours all go toward one degree. And then there is that slightly minor fact that i still would have to pass math & science class. SIGH.
I later thought, well, i'll just be a Para. A teacher's aide. I would love to do that. I could take a test & do it. Then, i find that they make less money than i do already! Seriously?! No. That's not going to work.
So i gave up on it. I got a raise & a promotion & i liked my new position a thousand times better. "I can stick this out, until i get to be a stay-at-home mom," i thought. Thinking that would be soon. But you know...we aren't trying for kids yet... & even if we were & even if i was prego... that still doesn't guarantee that i will get to stay home with them. Unless we start getting in some extra income, that won't be possible. I will have to work part-time, at least. And the thought of staying at my current place of employment indefinitely makes me want to have a nervous breakdown.
Today was really bad. I came home & called Medvance immediately, because i had been looking into their program online & they had called me, but i hadn't called them back. After coming home in tears, i called the woman back. She interviewed me over the phone & i just wanted to yell, 'I just want to know the COST & the LENGTH of the PROGRAM!" but NOOO...she isn't allowed to tell me the cost over the phone. The program is 24 months. And they don't have an Ultrasound Tech program.
I get online & look at Remington. They don't have one either. Delta doesn't either.
I get online again & find that there are no schools in Louisiana, but there is the online school University of Phoenix, which has a Ultrasound Tech program. How they can teach me that online, i don't know, but i decide to hit the link that says "i'm interested, send me info". Then i discover that they do not have that program available in my state. What? I thought this was an ONLINE program, thus eliminating any need for it being local? Deadend again.
Then i said, "Hey. i've always been interested in being a dental assistant. Let's look into that." Dead-ends there too. The only place i find has daytime classes only. I have to work during the day, people! And my husband would not go for me quitting my job!!
So yeah. It's back to work tomorrow. And this week might be the death of me.
I wouldn't trade it for anything... i mean, if i have to be lucky in love or in career, but not both, i'd stick with love. I love it! Being married to your best friend is WONDERFUL & i wouldn't trade it for anything!
But is it too much to ask to have a career i enjoy as well????
Please pray for me if you can. I'm so unhappy right now...