Tuesday, October 19, 2010

career or love?

Not so long ago, a friend was complaining to me about how unlucky in love she was. How she couldn't find the man of her dreams. She'd heard some silly quote that you either find a great career or you find love, but not both. Obviously, i disagree with this. I know people who have been lucky enough to find BOTH. But i keep thinking about it because you know what? It's true for me too, except the other way around. I think i have been VERY lucky in love. But career? Not so much.

Last week, i wasn't really unhappy with my job. It comes in waves. Today? I came home in tears. But last week, everything was just fine. However, i started thinking about being an Ultrasound Tech last week. I just think it would be a cool job. I started looking into it. Dead ends, everywhere i look. Unless i want to move, which i am not at all opposed to, but i can assure you that my husband wouldn't go for it!

Today i had a really bad day at work. I have those often enough. But sometimes they are REALLY bad. Some days i just want to find something to do that i LIKE! And really, is that too much to ask?

Apparently, it is.

I didn't finish college. I regret that, i assure you. My major was education. I wanted to teach english. Unfortunatley, even to teach english, you must pass basic math & science classes. I couldn't do it. I tried. I couldn't pass tests to save my life.

I started to work. No job has been something i'd want to make a career out of, except working with kids but those jobs do not pay very well (unless you have a degree...& i know teachers think they don't make much, but trust me! Compared to my salary, it is a FORTUNE!). Finally, sometime last year, i decided to look into being a teacher more. I looked into going back to LSU. I looked at my transcripts. Despite the fact that i have OODLES of hours, it would STILL take me at least 2 years to finish, because none of my hours all go toward one degree. And then there is that slightly minor fact that i still would have to pass math & science class. SIGH.

I later thought, well, i'll just be a Para. A teacher's aide. I would love to do that. I could take a test & do it. Then, i find that they make less money than i do already! Seriously?! No. That's not going to work. 

So i gave up on it. I got a raise & a promotion & i liked my new position a thousand times better. "I can stick this out, until i get to be a stay-at-home mom," i thought. Thinking that would be soon. But you know...we aren't trying for kids yet... & even if we were & even if i was prego... that still doesn't guarantee that i will get to stay home with them. Unless we start getting in some extra income, that won't be possible. I will have to work part-time, at least. And the thought of staying at my current place of employment indefinitely makes me want to have a nervous breakdown.

Today was really bad. I came home & called Medvance immediately, because i had been looking into their program online & they had called me, but i hadn't called them back. After coming home in tears, i called the woman back. She interviewed me over the phone & i just wanted to yell, 'I just want to know the COST & the LENGTH of the PROGRAM!" but NOOO...she isn't allowed to tell me the cost over the phone. The program is 24 months. And they don't have an Ultrasound Tech program.

I get online & look at Remington. They don't have one either. Delta doesn't either.

I get online again & find that there are no schools in Louisiana, but there is the online school University of Phoenix, which has a Ultrasound Tech program. How they can teach me that online, i don't know, but i decide to hit the link that says "i'm interested, send me info". Then i discover that they do not have that program available in my state. What? I thought this was an ONLINE program, thus eliminating any need for it being local? Deadend again.

Then i said, "Hey. i've always been interested in being a dental assistant. Let's look into that." Dead-ends there too. The only place i find has daytime classes only. I have to work during the day, people! And my husband would not go for me quitting  my job!!

So yeah. It's back to work tomorrow. And this week might be the death of me.

I wouldn't trade it for anything... i mean, if i have to be lucky in love or in career, but not both, i'd stick with love. I love it! Being married to your best friend is WONDERFUL & i wouldn't trade it for anything!

But is it too much to ask to have a career i enjoy as well????

Please pray for me if you can. I'm so unhappy right now...

8 comments:

  1. :(

    Sorry your job sucks right now.

    I will pray for you.

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with your career. It took me a LONG, LONG time to figure it out. Even now, I'm in my second year of law school, and I'm just HOPING that I really do want to be a lawyer.

    Sit and really think on it and pray about it. Make sure you aren't throwing darts at a career board because you're unhappy with your job now. Make sure you go do what you REALLY want to do - otherwise, you'll just be spinning your wheels and be in the same situation in two years.

    Have you thought of taking one of those tests like they gave in high school? That assess your strengths and weaknesses, and then make recommendations? Maybe that could be good!

    Good luck, sweetpea :)

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  3. you are heavy on my heart right now! I know how it feels to be where you are right now. I just got another job on Monday! I am so blessed to have found one. I was very unhappy and cried on my way home some too.
    I was in that rut and i promise it really does get better! Give it all to God and he will bless you and lead you in the right path. Thats what i did although it was very hard and it took me months to finally give it all to him and finally let him take control and steer me in the right direction!

    I;m going back to work i worked previously before i worked at my current job.. i loved it there and left due to money issues, that was a stupid reason. But this time i am going back becasue i loved the environment!

    Whatever you do make sure its something you love!!

    Have you thought about taking online math & science classes my sister is doing that in Arkansas, she's not too great in those courses either?? I wish you the best of luck!

    I know it's hard and i know exactly how you feel but there is something perfect for and God has a plan for you life. I will keep you in my prayers, i know how hard it must be for you daily.
    If you need to vent more email me and i will be more than happy yo listen it was wonderful talking to one of my blog bff's about my situation. It gave me a little peace.

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  4. These women have some really wonderful advice! I've been searching for that 'job you just love' and I haven't found it nor have I given it all to God so I don't feel right in giving you advice! But I will definitely pray for you Melissa!

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  5. Are you good at typing? I know they are screaming for Court Reporters right now. I believe the course takes like 3 years to complete (i think) and the school is over off of Sherwood close to the hair training school).

    The paralegal school is there too - you can get an associates as a paralegal in like 18 months I think.

    Court reporters get paid pretty well.

    I know how you feel, just trying to throw some ideas your way.

    And as for the not being able to stay home with babies - it is do-able, just takes some budgeting, cutting out extras. But it's soooo worth it. That and even if you work part time - what you make will go to day-care anyway.

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  6. good luck finding something that you really love. I'm a little unlucky in love and career right now...but keep on praying God has a plan for your, maybe you aren't quite ready for the awesome job he has in your future! Keep on praying!!!

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  8. i am a new follower and this post of yours really registered with me. i am in a similar situation in trying to find work that i love ... i kind of fell into my current field and while some weeks i enjoy it, other weeks i leave the office and want to scream! i truly hope you fins something you love ... changing or starting a new career can be difficult, especially when it seems like all the cards are stacked against you. just keep moving forward ... you'll be amazed at what you're actually capable of. looking forward to more of your posts ...

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