Well. Where do I begin?
This week, I have been through hell. I guess it probably gets old to hear about someone's stress at work, but it's all that's on my mind these days, so hear it you must (Or not. You can always just skip over my blog for the day. I'll never know!). But no worries. I'm not going to go on too long about it! Well, maybe I will. Just this once? Okay, whatever. Skim if you must!
Can I just say what amazing friends I have though?
Friday I worked 2 hours late, and didn't take a lunch break. I also took work home. Monday, same thing. A really bad day. Tuesday had its moments. I worked only about 45 minutes late, because I had to be at the Manship. I was EXHAUSTED but I made it. The stress, though, is going to kill me. I can't go on like this.
Wednesday. Wednesday was the worst. I made another giant mistake at work & it took me most of the day with students in my office to fix it. I think it was my 3rd day in a row to cry at work. Too much stress = tears for me, remember? Anyway. At one point on Wednesday... probably around 2:00... I sent an emergency HELP! text to a few girlfriends. Girlfriends that i knew would lift me up in prayer. My text said,
"Will somebody pray for me? I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown at work. I don't know what I'm going to do. I've never felt so incompetent or like such a failure in my life!"
And I received the following responses:
"You got it, girl! I am sorry you are having those feelings, but you are NOT a failure nor are you incompetent. In Jesus name I pray for peace, strength & joy over you right now! Love you, Mel!"
"Aw, Mel! No way! Whatever it is, you can't believe that lie! Lifting you up! Love you!"
"I'm sorry. Praying right now!"
"I just saw your message. Praying for you, girl. You are NOT a failure, you are more than a conqueror!! And you can do all things with Jesus! You are fully equipped to do this job, and you will do it with excellence!"
"1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on HIM because he cares for you." I don't know what you are facing right now but I am praying for you at this exact moment! Stop what you are doing, take some deep breaths & regroup. You CAN DO whatever is on your plate right now at work right now! The Lord brought you to that job for a reason. I realize it might not feel like it right now, but He did! He knew you would have this day & those feelings! Lord, I pray for strength & confidence for Melissa right now! Guide her emotions and take away her frustrations! Encourage her & give her peace! Love you, Mel!"
I mean! How awesome to have such amazing friends who speak such truth into my life?! And i have MORE friends like this, such as my besties Sarah & Laura & so many others, but these are just my friends who text & I only had about 5 seconds to send a quick message to some friends! Haha! Anyway, i read those & kept working and at some point... quickly, like within 30 minutes... I realized I was in a MUCH better frame of mind & the stressful situations lightened up a little. Just a little, but i was definitely able to handle it better. Things changed so much so that I KNEW beyond the shadow of a doubt that they really were praying for me, and not just saying it! (LOVE Y'ALL, you know who you are!)
Some of them even sent another message the next morning to let me know they were still thinking about me & praying for me!
And then on Thursday, a wonderful person from corporate came to train me on some things & to talk to me again about all this stress! I am sure my boss told her that i was on the brink of a breakdown! Haha. We met with some other people to explain some changes we will be making...not major ones but things that will make a huge difference anyway! And as long as i stick with the calendar, meeting deadlines, i will be FINE. And I believe again that i can actually do this!
So Monday I have a lot of work to do, but I know that I can do it. And if i get stuck, i have two people I can call to help me through it. The girl from corporate will come back to help out on Tuesday & the woman who has my position at our Lafayette location will come later in the week. I'm going to get through this!
I'm really glad, because I do not want to go anywhere else. There is so much i love about this place already. I just want to be successful. In my last job, i was great at it, I was well respected & worked hard & was very organized. If someone asked me for something, I knew right where it was! It's been the complete opposite here & I can't help but think that these people have never seen someone so not organized & so incompetent before! My husband says "who cares what they think?" but i do not want them to think i'm incompetent because I'm NOT! It just seems like it right now for several reasons! But i will just continue to do my best & they will find over time that i am AWESOME! HAHA!
So there ya go. And today? Today I'm off. I slept till 9, got some coffee, took a long hot bath with a magazine, & now I sit in comfy clothes, on the couch, with the perfect temp, Fievel curled up beside me, with the sound of rain in the background. NICE. I deserve it! And I need it!
So that's the story & why I've been MIA. Thank you if you've been praying for me. Much love. xoxo