Friday, October 4, 2013

Frankly Friday: It's Time

I don't understand what has happened to me. I really, really don't.

You see, back in the day I decided i HAD to lose weight. This was back in 2009. I realized I had gained 20 pounds in 6 months, and that if i kept going like this i would be well over 300 in no time. So i stopped the road i was on & began to eat healthy.

Because of this revelation, I began to do whatever it took to get healthy. I started doing cardio. I started eating right. I was counting calories. I was SERIOUSLY limiting junk food. I cut out coke & fast food. I did not lose weight.

People said i should go to the doctor. People said something wasn't right.

I said, "No...surely i am not doing all i can do. Maybe i should give up sugar or start weight training or something."

So I began an intense health routine of counting every calorie & staying under a certain number of them, along with two days a week of zumba & three days a week of bootcamp.

In 15 weeks, I gained 1 pound.

At this point, i went to the doctor who told me i was fine. But i later went to my obgyn because this is when i also realized i was having abnormally long cycles (before that i was on the pill). She diagnosed me with Insulin Resistance.

I don't know how or why or what is wrong with me, but you would think at that point i would have started getting my act together. Since i actually HAD a reason the weight wasn't coming off, and had now been given tools to help me succeed. I had figured out that calorie-counting doesn't work for those who are insulin resistant. I had done my research, and met with a nutritionist, and realized that it was more about sugar & bad carbs.

I did well for awhile. In total, i have lost about 30 pounds. IN THREE YEARS. Part of the slowness is the beginning, when i had undiagnosed Insulin Resistance. But the other reason for the slow weightloss is because i kept turning back to EVIL WAYS! Over & over again. And i don't mean just an occasional treat. I mean, completely turning my back on healthy eating. Going straight back to too many cokes in a day, too much fast food in a week, and ZERO exercise. It was awful.

Since then, i have continued to struggle. I will do really really well for a week and then go straight back to HORRIBLE EATING.

As most of you know, we have been dealing with infertility for awhile now. And last week, I found out that not only am i Insulin Resistance, but i also have PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. (I recently discovered it's actually "ovary syndrome", not ovarian, but i think it sounds better as ovarian. No?)

Everything I have read says diet/exercise/weightloss will help with Insulin Resistance. I am seeing the same thing for PCOS.

Every single diet program i hear of  - paleo, plexus slim, calorie-counting, ideal protein, clean eating - they all have testimonies from people who reversed IR, reversed PCOS, or finally got pregnant after years of trying all because of WEIGHTLOSS.

I have to do this.

This week i was horrible. HORRIBLE. I work at a hospital. My department is next door to the cafe (which is basically starbucks), a short walk to the cafeteria, and a shorter walk to the gift shop. This week i had a pumpkin spice latte DAILY. That wasn't the only junk i had either, believe me.

At home, we have TONS of produce and other healthy foods. I've also gotten good at bringing my lunch to work. But i have to keep that up & NO MORE TRIPS TO THE GIFT SHOP OR CAFE!!!

So it begins, again. I have decided to do the WHOLE 30. I want to do this because i believe in it, more than i believe in calorie counting or any other program. I believe in eating clean. I do. I have tossed around the idea of going paleo for awhile now, but i simply MUST get my hubby on board. And that might take some arm-twisting & whining & begging, ha! But the truth is, he needs it JUST AS BAD as i do. He does. He is not obese, he is barely even overweight, but he does have health concerns that I think would go away with some junk food elimination.

I also want to invest in some weights & do some walking & weight-training.

I don't know when DAY ONE will be, but it will be soon. I will keep you posted.

Wish me luck! :)

Side Note: I am thinking about getting rid of my weight loss blog & writing about that stuff here. But i don't want to annoy anyone or make any of my weightloss-blog-only readers sad or anything like that. And I'm really not sure what to do. If i do start writing about that stuff here, i won't be posting my exact weight or anything like that, probably. Which is okay with me because i post that in other places (such as apps on my phone). I would still probably tell you how much I lost or gained, just not how much i currently weigh. But i might, who knows! I also wouldn't overwhelm you with too many weight-related posts! Based on all of this information, please vote! :)

(Yes, Erika, this survey is a direct copy-cat off of you, but now you can have the fun of voting!!) :)

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.


  1. I'll be cheering you along in both journeys... IF and weight loss my friend!!

  2. I'm sorry about the PCOS diagnosis, friend. :( I hope that your husband can get on board with a diet that works for BOTH of you...I imagine it'd be much harder trying to cook/eat separately. Praying for you, friend!

  3. IR is a symptom of PCOS - I am so surprised they didn't look into that sooner. I am PCOS as well. We did Clomid to get preg w/ #1 and then caught the magic day of the year with #2 (my periods get further and further apart until they are non existent). Thank goodness for a diagnosis so they can finally quit telling you that IF you lost weight you would get pregnant... yes, maybe, but also PCOS has a lot of other things too and you may need assistance getting pregnant anyways! This can be positive now that you know and I hope they will point you in the right direction now that you have a diagnosis. PRAYING for you girl!!! PS - I love all your blogs. Keep us updated! :)
    - Donora

  4. So sorry about the diagnosis, but the good news, is now you know! I'm rooting for you on both the IF and the weight loss! ((((HUGS))) You and Brad are in my thoughts!

    BTW, I work with your hubby! I work in the I.T. section.

  5. proud of you Melissa! I know this isn't an easy road (i'm on it too!) but taking the first step in figuring out WHAT you're going to do is how to get it done!
    So with that being said.
    How was your weekend? Did you stay on board? did you get some walks in?
    i'm here to help in any way you'd like (seriously!) we can exchange numbers, chat about things, keep each other accountable...i'm all for it. my "downfall" is ALWAYS the food...ugh food.

  6. I so the same thing with working out and eating well. It is so stupid!! I do good for like a week then we either run out of healthy stuff or we go out to eat, or I'm too tired to workout and then it just snow balls. I am so horrible with sticking to anything!! I am going to read more about the whole 30, I don't think I have heard of it. Maybe it can keep my interest for a little while...


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