Sunday, May 11, 2014

a little love for the ladies in my life

Mother's Day.

Just a few things I want to say.

To my friends who are experiencing infertility/miscarriage/failed adoption/infant loss:
I am praying for you tomorrow, this weekend, all the time. I love you. I believe one day we will all look back & rejoice on what God has done for us!! For now, know that you have a sister on this journey who is holding you up in prayer! Love to you all! Now, go do some retail therapy or get a massage or pedicure or something. Do whatever you want to do tomorrow. Big hugs to you!

To those who have lost their moms:
Praying for you today. Praying you receive little glimpses that your mom is still with you. Praying that you feel comfort from Jesus tomorrow, and that you feel love from the other mother figures in your life. Praying that you know how very much you are loved & cared for. Hoping that you feel nothing but peace & comfort tomorrow.

To my single friends who thought they would be married with kids by now: 
Look, i don't know if Mother's Day is hard for you. I really don't. It wasn't for me. But other days were hard, and I just don't want to leave you out of this! Most of you know my story, I was single for way too long (at least i thought that at the time). I've been there. Maybe longer than you, maybe not as long as you, but that's not the point. The point is, i remember. I remember longing for a husband & children. I remember getting SO TIRED of doing everything alone. I remember being a nanny & wishing they were mine, wishing my life would MOVE ON so i could meet Mr Right already & start popping out babies. I remember the physical pain of loneliness. I remember wondering if God had forgotten to give me a husband. I REMEMBER. So maybe Mother's Day isn't hard for you, and maybe it is. Either way, I just wanted you to know that you are thought about, prayed for, loved, valued. And that you are never really alone when you have Jesus. He is always with you. He hasn't forgotten about you. Hang in there, girls. xoxo

To my friends who are moms: 

I hope you know how much i love, respect, admire you. I see you with your kids. There is no question in my mind how very much you love them & hope the very best for them! I understand when you question your every decision. I know that your adventure through motherhood is full of fear, worry, joy, faith. But you put your ALL into it. You give your ALL. You create, you work hard, you play with them, you make sure they are getting everything they need, you wipe their noses and get them to bed on time and miss out on fun things so you can be with them. We all know there is SO MUCH MORE to what you do than that, but this blog post can only be so long!

I love my mom-friends. I am always amazed, always impressed, always admiring you. I don't consider any of you to be bad moms or so-so moms or really strange moms! You all may do things differently, but you're all such good moms. And some of my closest friends are some of the best moms i've ever known, which makes me crazy-proud of you.  

There are some mom-friends that have been so insanely supportive of me during my walk through infertility. This is not that common, and I do not take it for granted. You have cried for me, you have prayed with me. When i have been angry, you have been angry with me. You have allowed me to vent. You have allowed me to be angry or upset or fearful without judgement or telling me i shouldn't feel that way. When i have grieved, you have grieved with me. When i found out i was pregnant, you were almost as happy for me as I was happy for me! And when i miscarried you were absolutely heartbroken. You don't tell me those cliche' things that people say when they don't know what to say. Instead you give me words of comfort, you remind me how much God loves me & has a good plan, and if you don't know what to say, you just hold my hand or hug me or tell me you are so sorry.

I love you for that & I always will! It means WAY more than you could ever imagine, and sometimes i worry that if you go through a hard time i won't be able to repay you. I won't be as good of a friend to you as you have been to me. But i am sure going to try! (Hopefully there won't be any such times for you to need me to be that kind of friend! But you know what I'm saying.) Amanda. Aimie. Beth. Mandy. Ashley M. Mary Ann. Laura. Ashlee. Ashley V. Megan. Lindsey. Sarah. Shana. Becca. And more. I am so thankful. (A few of those are not moms but i couldn't not include them! They have been so amazing for me in this infertility journey!)

I realize there is one group I am leaving out - you don't technically belong in the infertility group anymore, but you don't feel like you fit in the mom-group either. I am talking to those of you who are now finally about to have your first mother's day after years of infertility &/or miscarriage! Yes, indeed. Praise Him from whom all blessings flow! I hope you are pampered, spoiled, and filled to overflowing with JOY this mother's day! (But really, how could you not be!?) I am genuinely happy-excited for you & for those of you who are still pregnant, i cannot wait to meet your baby (or babies - SIX ladies from my infertility support group are currently pregnant with TWINS!) (At least, I think it's 6. Maybe more. I may have lost count!)

MOVING ON. To the two moms God has given me! :)

My mother-in-law. She is the BEST & i am SO LUCKY to have her for a mother-in-law! I often say she is my favorite MIL or she is the best MIL & she says it's because she's my ONLY MIL, but y'all. I've  heard the horror stories! There are some crazy mother-in-laws out there! Haha! I LOVE mine! Love & adore & admire & want to be like someday! She is an excellent cook, she is a bookworm (like me!), she is really sweet & kind & FUNNY. Seriously, she cracks me up all the time. She is one of those people that, upon meeting her for the first time, you would feel okay with just making yourself comfortable in one of her recliners, and having some coffee or dessert or whatever it is she's making, & just chatting with her about life or shopping or books or anything! She is a good listener and she has great stories & i just love her to pieces & am so thankful for her in my life. She is an encourager. She is genuine. And she loves me!

(She also raised an incredibly good-looking and talented son, who treats me like a queen! I am thankful for that, too!) Love you, Mrs. Cheryl!

And last but NOT LEAST!! Saving the BEST for last, of course

MY MOM (aka, Marmie). 

I want to honor her. I want to celebrate her. This woman is amazing. She has not walked an easy road. She has not had the easiest life so far. She has had GREAT moments of joy & peace, i know, but she also has experienced more than her share of loneliness, hurt, depression. Through the years I have watched her grow closer & closer to the Father, and it is evident. I am often in awe of all that God has done in her life! He has molded her & made her into a beautiful woman of God. She is full of grace, wisdom and so much kindness. And as if that's not enough? She's a great cook, she is an excellent decorator, if you have any question about decorating or cooking or cleaning or just, ANYTHING, she knows the answer! She is funny & fun to talk to, and THE BEST shopping companion. I am blessed to be her daughter. I truly am.

I am so glad to call her not only mom, but friend. And yes, i do sometimes think, "I'm becoming my mother!". That's not always a bad thing, you know! ;)

Also, she's getting a pool. A swimming pool. Yes, indeed. I see many pool lounging days in our future! ;)

(She doesn't love this one because she has no makeup on, but y'all! She is beautiful!) 

So thankful for ALL of the ladies in my life. Hope you have exactly the kind of weekend you needed. :)


  1. Ohhh, Melissa, you have truly made my (Mother's) day!!! I love you the most!!!!!

  2. Mel!!! This was the sweetest post EVER! (Ok... I only read my part haha but still! I'm sure the rest was just as sweet!) What would I ever do without you for a friend?!

  3. Ohhhh this is such a beautiful post. Thinking of you today sweet friend! xoxo

  4. ughhh. I couldn't even make it half way through this post without crying. I loved what you said about those who grieve with you and cry with you and are angry with you. The friends who did that with me during my infertility will always hold a special place in my heart. I'll never forget my friend Crystal crying harder than I did when we found out I would probably need to go on Clomid (she also went through infertility). It is so refreshing having battle buddies who will go with you through all of the crap and be there for all of the ups and downs. So grateful you have that support! Love you!

  5. I am so glad I have been able to be here for you. I didn't go through treatments, but o how I understand the desire of wanting a baby. The Lord has brought peace to me in this part of my life. But, I am so thankful to be able to laugh, cry, pray, hug, chat, and just be a part of your life and journey with you. I pray our friendship is a lifelong one. I love you Mylissa and I KNOW that the Lord WILL give you the desires of your heart.

  6. Beautiful post!! I love you so much. Thankful to be able to walk with you on this journey. Looking forward to that day when you blog about your first amazing mother's day with that sweet baby in your arms! I know it will happen!

  7. You are such a sweet girl Melissa!!


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