Thursday, November 27, 2014

on Thankfulness

If you would have told me back in March that I would wake up on Thanksgiving morning with a heart full of thankfulness, I wouldn't have believed you. I probably wouldn't have believed you in April or May or even August. It's been a tough year. 2013 was my hardest year, until 2014 happened. Infertility just goes on and on, you feel like it's not just your story now, but that it always will be. Then miscarriage touched me. I didn't expect it to, I thought I would have a one month old at Thanksgiving, but I was wrong.

Then after I miscarried, I still hoped that even if i didn't have a baby at Thanksgiving, maybe i would at least have one on the way. And i don't. I still don't. But i am so thankful this morning. And I'm thankful that I'm thankful. :)

I'm not thankful for miscarriage, and I'm not thankful that infertility keeps going on and on, and that I don't know if or when it will be resolved. What I am thankful for is that God has sustained me. God has helped me through it. God has put people in my path to help me on this journey. He has given me songs like I am not Alone and You are Wonderful and Not for a Moment to remind me that He is always there, that He knows my struggles, that He loves me unconditionally, and that He has promised to one day turn my sorrows into joy.

He's given me a husband who may not always understand what I am feeling, but who always tries to understand, who always has my best interest at heart, who cares about me more than anything else in this world. He sometimes makes me laugh so hard i can't breathe. He sometimes makes me laugh through my tears. There are not enough words to say how thankful I am that we are together.


He knew back in 2003, when i looked into this little puppy's eyes and just HAD TO HAVE him, that I would one day face some tough times and need this little dog curled up next to me. Dog lovers, you understand, right? :)

He's given me some wonderful family & friends & church family. They pray for me, they wish the very best for me. They hurt when i hurt and rejoice when I do. I love these people.






 

He knew I needed a support group. A safe place to vent my heartache and frustrations and be completely and totally understood. He gave me the courage to go and he's given me more friends through that group than I know what to do with. Some of these friends are lifelong friends. And that's the number 1 reason i can be thankful for infertility. I would never have met these people if not for this journey. Even if i had, we certainly wouldn't have the bond that we have. Very thankful for every one of these girls (plus some that are not pictured!).

He's given me photography, helped me to learn it, helped me to start a business with it, and given me mentors to help me get better. He even gave me the ability to photograph pregnant mommies and newborns and children without feeling the pains of infertility. Oh, i feel those pains outside of photo shoots all the time, but get me behind the camera and something happens. My focus goes to photography and how to get the right image of that beautiful mama-to-be. I am so thankful He allowed that! Maternity shoots are some of my favorite shoots, which is something i never expected!


Oh, and did I mention He helped us get a house this year?! Yes, he did. And i love it. Some days I drive up in our driveway, and smile. This is our house. THIS is our house! This is our HOUSE. This is OUR HOUSE?!?! :) Or i walk down the hall and see the beautiful wood floors and smile. I love it. It's cute and perfect for us. Also, i LOVE Watson! It's a great area! We love so much about this area. We've found a lot of local places that we really enjoy. And we are closer to church, my family, and several friends.

This list could go on and on, obviously. There is always SO MUCH to be thankful for. Today I will think about and celebrate those things with my family. Can't wait.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! And P.S. I am praying you all have a wonderful day today. Even if you are hurting and not feeling very thankful right now... that's okay. It's okay to feel that way. Praying you feel His peace & comfort in your heart today.

Praise the Lord!
Give thanks to the Lord 
for He is good
His love endures forever. 
-Psalm 106:1-

8 comments:

  1. Happy Thanksgiving, lovely lady! I'm so glad God has given you so much joy in the midst of your sorrow this year. I'm praying that 2015 is your best year yet!

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  2. This is beautiful Mel! You always encourage and inspire me. Happy thanksgiving!!!!

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  3. This is such a beautiful post. It's inspiring to see someone who has experience such hard times and still manages to find wonderful things to be thankful for.

    And I definitely know about the dog thing. Sometimes my dogs are a better comfort than my husband :P haha

    I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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  4. Love this post Mel. :) To be thankful even when o are hurting... that is true thankfulness. Love you!

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  5. Love this post!! We all have so very much to be thankful for every day that we wake up alive and breathing :) God is so very good!!

    On a photography note, my 13 yo step-daughter is wanting a "good" camera for Christmas. It could turn into something more but we really have no idea where to start. Do you recommend anything in particular for a starter camera?? She picked out some based on the pictures "because they looked professional" in her words lol

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  6. Happy (late) Thanksgiving. And... I LOVE this post! :)

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