Wednesday, May 27, 2015

My Weekend (& baby showers)

This weekend was kind of amazing. I mean, nothing major happened. Just a fun weekend with good friends. I thought I'd tell you all about it. I know you're so excited. Right?! But maybe this is the start of me getting back to consistent blogging! #yeahright #probablynot #whoamikidding

Oops, sorry about the hashtags. Won't let it happen again. But they just work so well for things I would rather mumble under my breath than actually say out loud. Ya know?

Anyway. Saturday morning, I got up and ran a few errands. Then I headed to my friend Mary Claire's house to ride with her and a few other girls to a baby shower about an hour away. Some of you may be surprised to hear that I went to a baby shower. Others may be surprised to find out I do not normally go to them. So let me explain. I don't normally go to them because I just can't. That's really all I can say. Baby showers are just very very difficult for a woman going through infertility, to say the least. The best way I know how to explain it is this: to sit in a room full of women who are all moms (some of them 10-16 years younger than you!), surrounded by all things baby, honoring a mom-to-be is incredibly overwhelming. Because of the nature of the event, the conversation naturally is about all things new moms experience. So basically it is sitting in a room surrounded by talk of labor, delivery, C-sections, breastfeeding, diapering, baby-wearing, potty-training...and that is only the beginning. It is many, many stories of parenting triumphs and woes. And it's hard because I can't contribute to a single conversation, I can only hear about all the wonderful (and scary and hard and difficult) things I am missing out on in the beautiful world of motherhood. So I sit there with a fake smile plastered to my face, praying I can make it through the next hour or two. (I didn't always feel this way... for me, this has been something that has gotten harder the longer infertility has gone on. I realize not all women going through infertility feel this way about baby showers. But many do.)

I worry that friends will feel I am being selfish. After all, the baby shower isn't about me, it's about the mom-to-be that is being honored. And I get that. I do. But infertility is devastating, and sometimes you have to do what is best for you. Thankfully I have had friends completely understand and offer me much grace & love when it comes to their baby showers.

Trust me, I don't WANT to miss a good friend's baby shower. In fact, there have been a couple of them that have had me truly heartbroken over not being able to go, because sometimes they are for dear friends that I love and that I do want to honor & celebrate. But I have to find a different way to do that. Usually it is by bringing them a meal and baby gift shortly after the baby is born. For some reason the same topics discussed at a baby shower aren't as bad when it's just me and the mom-to-be. But put me in a room with 10-20 moms and I feel overwhelmed, heartbroken, and completely alone. I am SO THANKFUL to have had many friends completely understand this, some of them even talking to me and giving me an out, before I even got a chance to explain why I wouldn't be able to make it. (Side note: This is not a bad idea...sending your friend like me the invitation but also letting them know that you totally understand if they can't make it. It is so thoughtful and it really means a lot!)

So there you have it! Why I don't do baby showers. BUT this weekend, I made an exception. This weekend was my friend Heather's shower. She is one of my friends from my infertility support group, and she is adopting. Because of this, I figured the conversations would be a little different than the ones at other baby showers. Plus, I would be going with three other friends from support group. So I figured even if something was difficult about the shower, at least we would be together! And so we went and had a wonderful time, and I know Heather was thrilled to have us there. I cannot wait to meet this baby girl... please say a prayer that all goes well with the baby's birth and adoption! (You can read more about Heather's adoption on her blog!)

So here are a few pictures from the day.

I love this picture SO MUCH! This is Katie, Mary Claire, Heather, Kasie & me. I am so thankful to have a support group and to have made such good friendships with the girls in it. We support each other, we encourage each other, and we pray for each other. They have been a God-send, and I pray that one day we will "graduate" from infertility sisters to mom-friends. :)

So Saturday was really an amazing day, even the drive down & back was a blast!!

Sunday was church, and afterwards we went with our favorites, Billy & Mandy, to lunch! I had been CRAVING Mexican food for MONTHS. It finally happened! Haha! Yay!

Did I mention we are going on vacation with  Billy & Mandy in November?!?! Ahhhhh! So excited. 159 days. Yep, I am counting down!

Sunday afternoon I took a wonderful nap, caught up on some editing, and watched my latest addiction...Chicago Fire. :) I'm on Season One and it's so good!

Hope you had an amazing weekend, too!

Saturday, May 16, 2015

March Happenings

Remember that time I did a whole post on the month of January & another whole post on the month of February, just because I was so behind on blogging? And i was going to do one more on March, and then we would be good to go? Well, the March one didn't happen. I blogged a little between then and now, but I still gotta catch you up on March. Because, I mean, March is birthday month. So. Hopefully this one won't be too boring for you! I'm just gonna share the highlights!


03.02.15 - So, March started off with my birthday. Last year, my birthday was not good. I had just learned that I was going to miscarry, but was hoping that it was all a big mistake and that our baby would stick. So on my actual birthday, I was in that awful place of hoping we had a baby but worried that we didn't. I was loved, I was comforted, I was surrounded by family, but it was still a scary time. I knew this year, my birthday would be much better. Even though I still do not have a baby in my arms, I was in a great frame of mind, AND my dear friend Laura was still in town!!
So I did actually blog about my birthday, and that post has all the good pics! But here is one of the ones from my phone. Me & Brad sharing my birthday dessert. (I picked The Cheesecake Bistro, because I was really wanting cheesecake for my birthday... and then I ordered a hot fudge brownie with ice cream instead. I don't know what happened!) 

And one of me & Laura. :)

03.07.15 - Did Charissa's senior session! Her mom & 2 sisters came with and we had a blast. Love this family!

03.08.15 - Had lunch outside on the porch because the weather was awesome! 

03.11.15 - Brad & I started a whole90. Which is a whole30, but for 90 days. More on that soon!

03.14.15 - I did Lauryn's senior session! Oh my goodness, she is a doll! I absolutely loved her shoot!

03.14.15 - Lunch after church with our favorite couple!

03.20.15 - Went on a date night to see Company at Theatre Baton Rouge. It was VERY GOOD! I've missed that place!

03.21.15 - Brad & I took breakfast to our friends Andy & Ashley, and we got to meet their brand new baby girl, born March 14th. Isn't she beautiful!? I love her. 

03.23.15 - Cut the grass for the very first time in my LIFE. (I probably should be more ashamed of that fact than I am!) ACTUALLY, Brad was cutting the grass when I got home from work, and I just stepped in for like 5 seconds. Then i posted this picture on Facebook as my pic-of-the-day, and I got more comments than I think I've gotten on any picture I've ever posted! Ha! No, people, i didn't REALLY mow the lawn. But I will. PROMISE! (Really.) 

03.24.15 - Got this sweet gift in the mail. Had been wanting to read it! :)(This is a shame, but I haven't finished it yet. I've been a procrastinator with reading lately, I don't know why!)

03.27.15 - Met up with my friend Becca to do a short family session! The mosquitos ate us up!! But we had fun. Love her! 

03.28.15 - Went to see Evie Kate again! This time it was with my mom & we brought dinner. :) 

03.29.15 - I had two photo sessions on this day! One was a senior named Michael, and then I did my friend Amy's engagement session! So fun! 

Awesome month!!! How was your March? Oh, wait. That was like two months ago! How is your May, then? I promise I'll catch up on this blog one of these days!

Have a good weekend!