Wednesday, May 27, 2015

My Weekend (& baby showers)

This weekend was kind of amazing. I mean, nothing major happened. Just a fun weekend with good friends. I thought I'd tell you all about it. I know you're so excited. Right?! But maybe this is the start of me getting back to consistent blogging! #yeahright #probablynot #whoamikidding

Oops, sorry about the hashtags. Won't let it happen again. But they just work so well for things I would rather mumble under my breath than actually say out loud. Ya know?

Anyway. Saturday morning, I got up and ran a few errands. Then I headed to my friend Mary Claire's house to ride with her and a few other girls to a baby shower about an hour away. Some of you may be surprised to hear that I went to a baby shower. Others may be surprised to find out I do not normally go to them. So let me explain. I don't normally go to them because I just can't. That's really all I can say. Baby showers are just very very difficult for a woman going through infertility, to say the least. The best way I know how to explain it is this: to sit in a room full of women who are all moms (some of them 10-16 years younger than you!), surrounded by all things baby, honoring a mom-to-be is incredibly overwhelming. Because of the nature of the event, the conversation naturally is about all things new moms experience. So basically it is sitting in a room surrounded by talk of labor, delivery, C-sections, breastfeeding, diapering, baby-wearing, potty-training...and that is only the beginning. It is many, many stories of parenting triumphs and woes. And it's hard because I can't contribute to a single conversation, I can only hear about all the wonderful (and scary and hard and difficult) things I am missing out on in the beautiful world of motherhood. So I sit there with a fake smile plastered to my face, praying I can make it through the next hour or two. (I didn't always feel this way... for me, this has been something that has gotten harder the longer infertility has gone on. I realize not all women going through infertility feel this way about baby showers. But many do.)

I worry that friends will feel I am being selfish. After all, the baby shower isn't about me, it's about the mom-to-be that is being honored. And I get that. I do. But infertility is devastating, and sometimes you have to do what is best for you. Thankfully I have had friends completely understand and offer me much grace & love when it comes to their baby showers.

Trust me, I don't WANT to miss a good friend's baby shower. In fact, there have been a couple of them that have had me truly heartbroken over not being able to go, because sometimes they are for dear friends that I love and that I do want to honor & celebrate. But I have to find a different way to do that. Usually it is by bringing them a meal and baby gift shortly after the baby is born. For some reason the same topics discussed at a baby shower aren't as bad when it's just me and the mom-to-be. But put me in a room with 10-20 moms and I feel overwhelmed, heartbroken, and completely alone. I am SO THANKFUL to have had many friends completely understand this, some of them even talking to me and giving me an out, before I even got a chance to explain why I wouldn't be able to make it. (Side note: This is not a bad idea...sending your friend like me the invitation but also letting them know that you totally understand if they can't make it. It is so thoughtful and it really means a lot!)

So there you have it! Why I don't do baby showers. BUT this weekend, I made an exception. This weekend was my friend Heather's shower. She is one of my friends from my infertility support group, and she is adopting. Because of this, I figured the conversations would be a little different than the ones at other baby showers. Plus, I would be going with three other friends from support group. So I figured even if something was difficult about the shower, at least we would be together! And so we went and had a wonderful time, and I know Heather was thrilled to have us there. I cannot wait to meet this baby girl... please say a prayer that all goes well with the baby's birth and adoption! (You can read more about Heather's adoption on her blog!)

So here are a few pictures from the day.



I love this picture SO MUCH! This is Katie, Mary Claire, Heather, Kasie & me. I am so thankful to have a support group and to have made such good friendships with the girls in it. We support each other, we encourage each other, and we pray for each other. They have been a God-send, and I pray that one day we will "graduate" from infertility sisters to mom-friends. :)


So Saturday was really an amazing day, even the drive down & back was a blast!!

Sunday was church, and afterwards we went with our favorites, Billy & Mandy, to lunch! I had been CRAVING Mexican food for MONTHS. It finally happened! Haha! Yay!





Did I mention we are going on vacation with  Billy & Mandy in November?!?! Ahhhhh! So excited. 159 days. Yep, I am counting down!


Sunday afternoon I took a wonderful nap, caught up on some editing, and watched my latest addiction...Chicago Fire. :) I'm on Season One and it's so good!


Hope you had an amazing weekend, too!



5 comments:

  1. I totally understand not wanting to attend baby showers. After our loss that made it even worse! But it sounds like you conquered this a little. I agree, an adoption shower was probably better and having your support group friends there also was a true blessing :)

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  2. What a sweet shower! You are so photogenic! Glad you went!

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  3. I tooooootally felt (and still feel, to some extent) the same way about showers. Torture. I'm glad you were able to go to (and enjoy) this one, though! I am going to go check out your friend's blog!!

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  4. Were you able to find anything mexican that is whole30 lol??? :)

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  5. I am so so so happy that you have your support group. I remember when you emailed me about first going... I'm so glad you did :). You're such a good friend! XO

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